Perspective and Awareness

One of the effects of Drugs or Disease, or both, has been a complete loss of perspective on my situation and condition, which is best illustrated by the fact that I said to Julia a couple of days ago: "Gosh, I've been really quite ill, haven't I? And for rather a long time."

I've been so wrapped up in the way I feel day by day that these rather self-evident observations only dawned on me properly after 16-odd months post-transplant, as if I was seeing my illness for what it is for the first time, rather than accepting it as Normality.


This too seems to me, and Julia agrees, to be a positive development because it indicates a return of some Awareness of myself from outside myself which is a healthy part of being a normal Human Bean, as opposed to an Old Crock to whom Things just Happen. I've had quite enough of the latter now and am more than ready to move on. Still plenty of Room for Improvement on the physical front, but things are moving in the right direction, it seems.