Progress?

Progress??
Really???

I don't like to tempt Fate for fear of a sharp rap over the knuckles in the form of another unforeseen setback, as so many times before, but although I'm by no means out of the woods yet, there are definite signs of improvement since I last posted two weeks ago.

The most important change is that I have more energy, both physical and mental, which makes a huge difference to my quality of life because I have greater capacity for enjoying it, rather than just tolerating it. It makes me rather better company for Julia too, instead of the Miserable Moaning Minnie she usually lives with.

Medically my blood counts have remained stable for the last fortnight and I've suffered no new afflictions or infections, which is already a very welcome change from the norm of the recent past. The sterile ulcer on my right eye has apparently healed, so I am no longer in immediate danger of going blind which is nice!

And my back, though still painfully stiff, especially in the mornings, is much better than it was. Massage never seemed to make a positive difference, but regular use of Deep Heat cream and a conscious attempt to take a little more exercise do seem to have helped. I'm not exactly the lithe and supple athlete I never was, but at least it's less of a struggle than it used to be to get out of bed and hobble downstairs to the safety of the armchair.

So the major daily issues I am grappling with now are breathlessness, which I feel is at least partially linked to the back pain, and eating. I still get all my nutritional needs overnight through the NG tube up my nose, but am hoping that a combination of gradual general improvement in my condition and slowly reintroducing my palette to normal food will start to make a difference there too.

As for the breathing, I sometimes feel as if there is a demon on my back who, after jabbing me with his pitchfork, then takes pleasure in squeezing me so tight around the middle that I am fighting to take the next breath. Slightly scary occasionally, but so far no worse than that.




To quote someone rather more famous than I about a situation of rather greater significance: "Now this is not the End, it is not even the Beginning of the End, but perhaps it is the End of the Beginning".




Light at the end of the tunnel?
Let's hope so.





PS re my post of 11th November, the new Archbish was in the year above me at school, I discover, so maybe that's why our paths never crossed